thebabyperks

Saying No & How to say Yes

I enjoy Bread Co., but I enjoy Bread Co. even more when it's free. Drury hosts "real world discussions" led by professionals within the Springfield community and they are always catered by Bread Co. I went to one my freshman year and loved it because I got a free lunch out of it (the discussion was good, too). For the leadership program I'm a part of we're supposed to attend 2 sessions but I started having classes when the department held them. This semester, though, I have a small lunch break and I was able to attend a session all about saying no. 

It was really interesting to have someone I don't know have us discuss why we say yes to things. I've had this discussion before with friends but it was interesting to have an "outsider" come in with a different perspective. A lot of students at the session talked about how Drury is a small school and how we feel obligated to help out especially if the person asking is someone we know. We also talked about the fear of missing out and regretting not getting involved enough. 

She then had us write down three reasons why it's hard for us (individually) to say no. My three reasons all come down to being a people pleaser (shocking). On my paper I wrote that I can't say no because I...
1) Feel guilty
2) Feel like I'll disappoint people
3) I'm afraid people will think I don't care enough

I feel like I talk about this a lot but I think I need this reminder often. In society today it's deemed good to be busy all the time. If you aren't busy you should be adding on something else. I found myself almost doing that this semester. I work at the gym from 7 a.m. to 9 a.m. every weekday morning, I have class from 10-3 or 10-4 most days. I then almost added on a second job working from 4-6 and/or 6-8. While it would've been nice to have some extra cash I realized that by saying yes to that second job across town I would be saying no to opportunities to go to Kappa Delta sisterhoods or get coffee with my friends. I realized that having 13 hour days wasn't going to be beneficial to my academic performance and that I wouldn't be as connected with people as I wanted. 

Just because I have a few hours a day to myself now doesn't mean I need to fill it with things to do. Now that I have the time I can properly allocate it to studying but I can also make dinner plans with friends or go to an intramural game.

I've also learned that sometimes you just can't make people happy. You can try as hard as you want but sometimes that isn't good enough and you have to give yourself the opportunity to say "no". 

Saying no is a powerful tool, when you say no you open your world up to a lot more yeses that you want to be doing rather than committing to something you don't enjoy.

Until next time,
Taylor xx