#IAmSpontaneity

In the last installment of the #IAm____ series we hear from University of Missouri- Kansas City student, Bethany Graham, who has decided to embrace spontaneity for the rest of her college journey.

 Why did you pick the word spontaneity?
Lately, I have been focusing on releasing control and enjoying myself in the moment. Whether this is dancing on tables with my friends, or letting myself go to bed early instead of doing homework until midnight like I planned. I need to listen to my body and focus on my emotional health in order to live a happy, healthy life.

Do you have any advice for college students who may also struggle with living in the moment?
Especially as college students, we need to remember to enjoy where we are. A lot of things are going on, and if we get so wrapped up in balancing everything and spreading ourselves thin, our time is over, and all for what? To be stressed out and overwhelmed most of the time? I've often struggled with being strict about my studies and work schedule, that I forget how much I love what I do. I have an amazing job, wonderful school, and I love what I'm studying. So why do I make myself miserable? I'm worth so much more than that. I shouldn't be a slave to my planner and I need to remember to be present in what I'm doing now.

This last year I was so stressed out that by November of my senior year I needed to already be interviewing for jobs, but the last few months I've had to rework my priorities and original plans. I still haven't applied for jobs. I have finally realized everyone is on their own path, so I can take my time, as long as I'm not being a lazy slob, and the reason I realized this was because I wasn't having fun and being spontaneous like I used to.

How does this word apply to other areas of your life?
I love this word and this topic because it all boils down to self worth. I want everyone to know they are worth taking time for themselves, to do what feels good, even if it isn't what they planned, as long as it's not destructive to themselves/others. Life throws all sorts of curve balls at you, so there's no use in trying to control it. While maintaining balance, allow yourself some spontaneity. Dance on the table.
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#IAmCreative

What is your word?
Creative. 

Why did you pick the word creative?
My whole life I've been smart, I've been a hard worker, I can do things and I can do them well, but I think I've learned a lot in college about how I have more to offer. I have more to bring to the table. A lot of that is creativity, the ability to see things in a new light or innovate or push forward with change. It is super necessary out in the real world.

This summer I did my internship with the Kemper Art Museum, the contemporary art museum in Kansas City. It was really cool because they had a bunch of projects for me to be working on but they would also invite me to all of their meetings. They would ask me what I thought and asked for my opinion on how to do things. That work environment really facilitated a space for me to reflect and realize not only am I learning all of this stuff in class, I have a personal investment that I can offer. That has been really cool to see, and once being able to see it I can apply it to my whole life. It has been really encouraging. 

Do you have a story from when you recognized that you truly embodied the word creative?
My mom and sister are really great fine visual artists and I can't draw or paint, it's not my strength. Growing up I always thought, "I am not an artist, I'm not creative," but the truth is that I am a musician, I am a really good writer, I am a problem solver, I am a good speaker. 

At one point I was like, "you know I should just let this go because I really don't want to be an artist," but I do think I have been able to cultivate creativity in other ways and I do think that is a strength of mine.

What would you tell others who struggle to recognize their strengths or abilities?
It's a good idea to sit down and think about where you want to be and the kind of person you want to be and then put yourself in those places. I do love art, so I was always like, "how can I be more involved in the arts, how can I be a supporter, how can I contribute?" Once you find your place it's easier to find your people who can lift you up and who you can learn from.

I do think I am much more confident in myself, not just in my abilities. There are so many opportunities when you get into college. At first, you feel like you have to narrow it down to one thing you want to do post-grad, but then senior year comes and you realize there is so much that you can do because college has prepared you so that when you enter the real world, you may not be in one career field your entire life, but you're equipped to handle that. That totally flipped for me. I was so worried about being an adult or being stuck in one career field my entire life.


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#IAmConfident

Confidence is something that Chase Worley really struggled with in the past, especially when coming in to college.
“In high school I was bullied a lot, I did not have many friends, and my self esteem was low which made it really hard to find out who I was and be confident in myself. Once I came to college my confidence was boosted. I was able to get out of my shell and meet new people,” Chase said.


His advice for students struggling to find themselves is to find a group of friends they connect with.
“At Drury, I found that so many people are very accepting of who you are. I found that the people I was around really cared about me and helped me grow,” Chase said.

 His confidence has been tested in college, but he leaned into his support system during that time.

 “Last year I went through something personally that brought my confidence way down. Bleaching my hair was what resulted in bringing that confidence back up. My friends started to compliment me on how much better I look blonde and it helps my self confidence to hear them say things like that,” he said.
Another piece of advice Chase has for those struggling with their confidence is to get involved. This helps you feel connected on campus and helps you make friends.

“Being a part of the cheerleading program has been my favorite memory at Drury because I am around people who inspire me to be more confident in myself. Seeing people who believe in themselves rubs off on me and helps me.”

He encourages people to be confident in who they are because their true friends will still be there for them.

“There are going to be a few people who won’t accept you as you are, but that’s okay, because the people who want to support you will always outweigh those who don’t."
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#IAmLove

Lyndsey Standage has grown a lot over the past two years. Read more about her #IAmLove story: how she learned to be accepting of herself and how that allowed her to love others more deeply.
“Growth has been a really large part of my life and because of that I learned that I do have my own opinions, I can voice them, and it's okay if not everyone agrees with me,” Lyndsey said.

She said that it can be easy to want to give all of your love to others, but that you also have to focus on loving yourself.

“You have to love yourself when you’re growing and changing. With the changes I’ve experienced  it’s been really hard. There were low points my sophomore year because I was finding more of myself. I was having to wrap that around me, my environment and my friendships.” 

Lyndsey said that her sophomore year she had friends pour into her during a time when she was depressed. These friends encouraged her to continue the process of bettering herself.

“I was doing things that were hurting others so I needed to change. Honestly, that sucked and I hated realizing it. I always want to think of things positively but sometimes you need to accept that you need to change in order to push yourself to become the best version of yourself,” she said.

If she settled for who she was as a sophomore in college she would not have learned as much or seen what she was truly capable of.

“If I didn’t embody growth, if I didn’t take that in and let it sit with me then I don’t think I would have been able to get through it. I would’ve stayed the same person I was years ago.”

Lyndsey recognizes that it’s really hard to start and continue this growing process, but that if you can start, you’ll slowly begin to see how much more love you have to offer.

“If you don’t like where you are or if you’re going through a hard time, allow yourself to grow and allow yourself the necessary time and space. If you give yourself that space to be, then you’re going to be a lot better off in the long run.”
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