thebabyperks

For the past two weeks or so I have had this blog post and two others queuing. I haven't had the time to sit down and write them, but just know that they are coming soon and I'm feeling really good about them. 
My inspiration for this post and the next two all come from my thoughts while contemplating a book I have been reading, "The subtle art of not giving a f*ck" by Mark Manson. My friend Ethan recommended it to me and it's completely restructured how I think about life.
While reading, the first thing it made me consider was why I struggle with feeling guilty. I have learned a lot over the past 5 weeks of my sophomore year, but one of the most important lessons is that you are only one person. You can only be so much for others without losing yourself. 

You can't change people. They have to want the change you seek for them. Sometimes you just have to step back from a situation because nothing you say/do can make it better. 

It's okay to be selfish. It's okay to spend time with the people I want to spend time with, I don't have to feel guilty about it. I can go on those late night trips to Andy's, spend all my time at Mudhouse, do what I want and not feel the need to apologize.

I think it will always be something I struggle with. I just have to learn to strike a balance between making others happy and making myself happy. 

Luckily, I have some pretty great friends who don't even realize how amazing they are. From the spontaneous movie nights to scrolling through Pinterest at 1 a.m., sophomore year has been significantly different than I anticipated but I wouldn't want it any other way.

Until next time,
Taylor xx

P.S.: Be on the lookout for my next two blog posts. I'm hoping to get them published as soon as possible but ya know life happens sometimes and there's this thing called my accounting class that consumes everything I am.

Fun fact-- I started working at the school gym at the beginning of the school year. As people have slowly found this out they ask how I motivate myself to go to the gym, how to overcome feeling self-conscious and how to get started (by the way, I'm more than happy to talk to anyone in person about these topics or any other questions).

I needed a picture of the gym and this is as good as it got, I'm sorry

If I am being honest, I battle myself every day in regards to the above questions. Sure, I "went" to the gym last semester, but "going to the gym" for me was getting on the treadmill and running for 1-3.5 miles. I'd promptly wipe down the treadmill with the sanitizing spray and walk out the gym doors. I'm not trying to disregard this accomplishment by any means. Any time you choose to get moving is a step in the right direction. I wanted to do more than just run on the treadmill, but if you read my fitness journey blog post, I was terrified.

It took me until this summer to pick up a dumbbell. I had nothing better to do when I wasn't working and I needed to occupy some time. We have a small gym set up at home, but I had no clue where to start. I followed plenty of fitness bloggers on Instagram but they didn't seem realistic. I searched YouTube for some sort of beginner tutorials and I stumbled upon HasFit. Now their video tutorials are what I use as a guideline for most of my workouts. They have have a lot of great options especially when you're under a time crunch.

Now to answer the question about not feeling self conscious. I always feel self conscious-- in regards to the gym and life. It's terrifying at first, don't get me wrong, and honestly a moment of panic flashs through me every time I open the door to the gym. What I've found, though, is that going to the gym makes me feel strong, confident and accomplished. 

I have this constant fear that everyone is watching me and judging me, but what I have learned is that no one is paying attention to me. They are focused on themselves and their own workout, as long as you aren't being obnoxious or stupid no one is going to really care what you are doing. I make a lot of accidental eye contact with people, but I've accepted that it happens sometimes and I move on. 

Life is going to be uncomfortable at times, you can let that stop you or you can use it as motivation to improve. 

Everyone's lives are incredibly busy, it's easy to forgo working out because you don't have time. I feel a noticeable difference in myself if I don't go to the gym when I originally planned to. It's also something I know I can check off my to-do list and feel proud about afterwards.

My best advice? As someone who feels like I'm still a novice, it's just to take the step and go to the gym. Start with the ellipticals and treadmills, or jump straight to the dumbbells. Do what you're most comfortable with, but then challenge yourself to go a little further. You'll be amazed at the progress you see physically and mentally.

Until next time,
Taylor xx

P.S.: Below are some of my favorite fitness inspirations:
- Whitney Simmons
- Bianca Franco 
- Carley Rowena 
- Rob Lipsett