Two Year YouTube Anniversary

December 22 was my two year YouTube anniversary. Every time I reflect back on the past two years I think about change. If you know me you know I'm hesitant towards change, more so, I'm comfortable with routine. And yes, I know the whole "you should go out of your comfort zone" speech. 

As I reflect on the past two years there are a few specific moments I want to point out.

My first video ever was entitled "Christmas List-First Video", original I know. I sat in front of my desk with the iPad mini I had won at youth group propped up against the wall. I filmed my video on there, downloaded iMovie for free, taught myself the basics and uploaded it all right then and there.
Christmas List- First Video
I've told my "YouTube Story" many times. I always thought that my anxiety began sophomore year, but looking back I realize it's always been there I just picked a pinnacle point. Although most of my videos are upbeat and happy, I think a lot of my video-making was just allowing myself to talk freely. 

Throughout my childhood I was super quiet, at least I think so. I honestly don't remember talking in 6th and 7th grade besides on the bus occasionally. In general, I remember very little of middle school (6th-8th grade) and maybe that's my brain blocking out everything, nonetheless it's a very vacant time in my life. 

Going into freshman year, I always say that it was a dark time, specifically because I didn't handle the change well. YouTube became my outlet during my sophomore year to just talk and say what I'm feeling. I'm very sarcastic and I feel like that can be misunderstood. In my videos my sarcasm was obvious and understood by my audience. 

Through my junior and senior years my channel has grown more than I ever thought it would. I currently have 204 videos up, 88 subscribers and 5,923 total views.

2015 has been a monumental year for me. My family and I did a lot of amazing things, but I also can point out a lot of rough patches, too. November and December have easily been some of the best months of my life because for the first time I'm genuinely 100% happy. 

YouTube is important because I was able to document both the good and bad moments throughout the years. As much as I make videos for others to enjoy, it's also therapy for me to get things off my chest, talk about social/life events, and document my memories.

Thank you all for supporting me both my blog platform and my YouTube platform. I would be no where without you. I'm so excited for 2016 and although a lot of changes are coming up, I think I'm finally ready for them.

Until next time,
Taylor xx 

History

You may or may not know that I have a slight love for the boy band One Direction. If my math is correct, I haven't talked about One Direction on my blog since August. Obviously this means I need to talk about them again, and this will probably be my last time for a while. 

You may or may not also know that One Direction are taking a "break" or hiatus or something. The time of this break? Yeah... no one really knows, originally it was a speculated 2 year break, then I heard that Harry Styles said 18 months so I really don't know.
 
This was my first time seeing them in concert and I marveled at this picture for months
Yesterday I sat at my computer with tears rolling down my cheeks watching One Direction sing "History" live on the X-Factor, with old and new pictures flashing on the screen behind them. I know, it's a little pathetic of me but it's fine.
Overall, their absence should probably concern me but I'm not that worried. I have their recently-released (incredible) album to carry me through. 
My second One Direction concert, before Zayn left #byezayn

What I wanted to talk about today, though, is something I've addressed before but I can't look past, especially now.

One Direction as a band, and as individual people, mean a lot to me. This may sound melodramatic but they were "there for me" when I either didn't want to talk to anyone, or felt like no one was there for me. They have been one of my most powerful musical connections. I've made an entire post dedicated to music shaming, so I'm not going to focus on that, but you should definitely go and check it out.
Harry 2015 OTRA 2015-Kansas City
Niall and Liam OTRA 2015-Kansas City
Louis OTRA 2015-Kansas City
A large portion of my life from 8th grade-freshman year was spent watching the X-Factor diaries, squinting at the terrible quality videos of the "Up All Night" tour, and jamming out to every song from "What Makes You Beautiful" to "Moments". As my responsibilities have grown and life because more and more hectic, I haven't devoted, per say, as much time to One Direction. Meaning I haven't sat on my computer every night for the past three years watching the first tour videos, I still do that a lot with the most recent tours, but not all the time.
Liam OTRA 2015-Kansas City (this was the hottest concert they had ever performed, it felt well over 100+ degrees)
I've also been lucky enough to see them live three, yes THREE, times. These concerts were easily the best times of my life. People always poke fun at my love for the boys but no one (besides a select few of my friends) can ever understand it. 
Niall OTRA 2015-Kansas City
I'm excited for their break, honestly. They deserve it. So many people say "well they get paid millions, they shouldn't complain," but they also have families who miss them and don't get to see them. Not only this but being in a boy band for 5 years is a long time. It will be awesome to see them all involved in solo projects, or even if they don't do anything, enjoying their down time.
Harry OTRA 2015-Kansas City
They've had a great run, and if they do in fact come back after the break and continue making music, I'll be ready. If after the break they come together and realize that they've done all they could, I'll respect that too. 
Louis OTRA 2015-Kansas City
I just thought I would throw my thoughts out there. What do you guys think about the break?

Until next time,
Taylor xx 

**I do not own the rights to the first single photo of Louis, all rights belong to the photo's originator. A Twitter user gave me permission to use it**

My Parents

My parents are easily the best people in my life and I'm so incredibly lucky to be able to say that. So many people have either a horrible, or non-existent relationship with their parents but I'm on the opposite spectrum.
SLU Basketball Game 2014
A big part of this is due to the fact that my parents have let both my brother and I do what makes us happy. For a long time my dad was against my brother playing football but he saw that he was in love with flag football and eventually let him play "regular" football. My parents let me wear really ugly fabric headbands in my hair every day of middle school and never questioned it (or at least they never told me to my face). No-- but in all seriousness they let me quit swim even though I knew a small sliver of their hearts wanted me to stick with it for the year. I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life and I don't believe that would be the case if I didn't stop. 
Oklahoma Mission Trip
This brings me on to my next point. They're understanding.

I hear stories about people's parents being super strict and over-bearing but I've never experienced this. I don't have a curfew, mainly because I don't do anything and I value sleep too much to stay out past midnight (but that's besides the point). My parents trust me which is something I think a lot of parents lack. Other parents need to understand that they won't be able to keep their kids on a metaphorical leash forever and giving their kids some breathing room won't hurt.
Trizou Triathlon 2014
On top of Mauna Kea in Hawaii
Now some of you parents reading this may have a heart attack at what I'm about to say but give me a chance to explain. Also, sorry mom and dad if you don't want me to tell the world this. My parents never gave my brother and I specific chores *gasps*. It was just understood that we would clean up our rooms, take things off the steps, etc. I know this isn't possible for every family and I'm not judging/hating on you if you do have specific chores, I'm just saying that for my family things just fell into place. For example, I'm always in the kitchen baking so I'll do the dishes. My brother is usually upstairs in his room so he'll take the dirty towels down to the wash. Now, I am lucky enough that my grandma does our laundry (thanks grandma), so I don't have to worry about it. For the most part, though, we all just pitch in and do what we see needs to be done. I'm sure there were moments that my parents wished we had a strict chore chart but after reflecting on everything I think we're doing just fine.
Lava Rock beach- Hawaii
Hawaii
I think that another big factor into the person I am today is the fact that my parents have never given me everything I want. From a young age they taught me that just because I wanted something at the store doesn't mean I was automatically going to get it. I wanted a new computer so I saved my money and combined it with my birthday money, they didn't just hand me a Mac. Same with my first phone. In fact, my "first phone" I actually shared with my mom and even when I actually got a phone, I didn't get the Razr and iPod Touch right away like everyone else at the time. I got my Samsung phone and my iPod shuffle and I was fine. 
Hawaii
Another point I want to bring up is how blessed I am to have two parents who are still happily married. I sit through my classes and hear "yeah my dad moved out", "I'm at my mom's this weekend" or "my parents can't stand each other" countless times. Sometimes thing don't work out and it's best for everyone for parents to separate and get divorced, I'm not saying it's wrong or bad. I'm just saying that my parents celebrated 20 years of marriage in October and I'm just so happy and proud of them. They love my brother and I, and each other unconditionally and I'm so incredibly proud of them.
Rams Game today
Finally, if you can't tell from the pictures, my family has done some pretty incredible things. We have gone on so many amazing trips and I cannot thank them enough. Traveling has become a huge passion in my life and we've had so many great opportunities to experience some great places together.

So if you're reading this mom and dad, I love you so much. And to everyone else, I hope you all have someone in your life whom you love as much as I love them, and if not maybe you can be that for someone else.

Until next time,
Taylor xx