She recently joined many others in starting a podcast and I've been hooked. It can be walking to class or working out in the gym, I love hearing Katy's stories. One of her most recent podcast episodes was about "ghosting." If you are unaware of what ghosting is it is basically cutting off communication with someone without explaining why. Social media makes it easy to ghost someone, you could be carrying on a conversation via text and get left on read, you could be Snapchatting and get left on open. You see this most in the college hookup culture but it's increasing in popularity in the job field as well. Candidates for jobs are beginning to not show up and not tell the hiring manager ahead of time.
Katy talked about how she has been ghosted by plenty of guys but admittedly has ghosted guys, too. Now the reason this is relevant to me is a little different. I see ghosting increasing in popularity because people fear commitment. The "what if" on the other side terrifies us. By constantly letting the potential negative "what if" rule our lives we miss out on the chance to experience something so incredible.
That's where my story comes in.
I'm a chronic overthinker. I want to analyze each and every situation thoroughly before making a final decision. This can be a weakness at times because I can change my mind (I do have to say that I'm working on being more decisive).
As I think back to the past (almost) year of David and I dating I think about how it could have easily been over our one year by now if I would not have let my hesitant-self rule over what I knew I really wanted. I was so scared of being a bad girlfriend, that I wouldn't be able to balance friends and a relationship, that I almost missed the chance of being with someone who has enhanced my life 110%. I still think back to how awkward the car ride was when he asked me out because I was so nervous. I'm so thankful I said yes and found out that 1) I'm a pretty good girlfriend and 2) I can balance a relationship and friends. If I would've let the fear of what-ifs rule my life I wouldn't be here 11 months into the best relationship.
Leadership positions also do the same thing. When I considered applying for VP PR for my sorority the doubt and what-ifs began to creep in. What if I wasn't good enough? This is my major I should be able to do it, but what if I can't? I applied, was slated and got elected. If my fear of not being good enough ruled over my desire to get involved I wouldn't be here a year later looking back at what I've helped accomplish through my position.
If you knew me from 8th grade until 11th grade you knew I was set on going to Truman State University in Kirksville, Missouri. My mom saw that Drury had a public relations program and basically forced me to take a tour. I really didn't want to go visit. I didn't want to go anywhere near Missouri State University and I definitely didn't want to be located in Springfield. The moment I walked on campus I knew I wanted to go to Drury. I tried convincing myself I didn't want to go. Was I really going to give up four years of being obsessed with Truman State to go to this super small school in Springfield? What if I hated it? I visited again and realized Drury truly was the place for me. It's wild to think how vastly different my life would be if my desire for consistency ruled over the opportunity for me to find my home away from home.
Take the jump, be bold. You only have one life to live so you may as well make the most of it. In every situation I'm so glad I took the jump, I think you will be, too.
Until next time,
Taylor xx
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