You are loved, even if you don't think you deserve it, you do. This past weekend brought a lot of tears and heavy hearts upon our church family (SunRise UMC). A family very dear to many at the church lost their 16 year old daughter to suicide.
I have struggled with depression and anxiety for many, many years. This past year was the first time I actually went to counseling to talk through my problems. I want you to know it gets better. I know saying that right now does not help your current situation, but trust me I know. Keep pushing, keep being yourself-- your true, genuine self. Freshman, sophomore, and junior year were all extremely challenging. I experienced some of my lowest lows during those three years, but for the first time I felt happy with myself during the second semester of this year (my senior year).
Reach out to someone-- I know it may be uncomfortable or terrifying but do it, I promise it helps. Having someone, hopefully a professional, there to talk with you about what you are feeling and why you feel the way you do, helps immensely. But talk to someone!
People love you, even when you think no one does. You may think you only have a handful of people who care about you, but let me tell you, you have made a large impact on so many people's lives. If you take your own life, people will miss you so much. You cannot even imagine. Last night at youth group was an extremely powerful, heartbreaking night, and we all came together to support each other and Anna's family. What we all need to remember is to take care of each other, support one another, and show love all the time, no matter how different we all are.
It has taken me four years of feeling like I didn't fit in, self-doubt, and loneliness, to finally feel like I am happy. I am so sorry, Anna, that I was never able to meet you, talk to you, or be there for you.
You deserve so much in life, but you don't deserve anyone's negative comments hurting your confidence. You have so much value and no one should stop you from being happy.
Here are some resources to check out if you ever need them:
Until next time,
Taylor xx
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