We find our direction through our
identity.
I
have spent a lot of time crafting my identity, but unfortunately the words I
string together to recognize who I am aren't that simple.
There
is the identity you let others see and the identity you hold at your core. The
first is what you are willing to show to strangers and friends alike, the
latter is what you show to a very select few (or maybe no one at all).
There
are many layers to an identity. When speaking of that first "outer
layer" of an identity (the one you are willing to show everyone) you get
the basics. For me: a Strategic Communication major, a writer, passionate about
coffee, breakfast food, and baking cookies, I love running in the morning and
going to bed early.
Then
there is the deeper layer of my identity, the layer I am not going to share on
the Internet just yet. It's those deeper questions, with darker answers-- who
you are at your very core.
The
third layer of your identity is the hardest because while it is yours it
doesn't belong to you, it belongs to society-- how they identify you. They take
all the characteristics that you try so hard to mold into a certain way and
they judge you. They judge you hard. Every little thing you do that falls short
of what you "should" be becomes a huge red flag to people.
And
then what do you do when you lose a part of your identity? You have to
reevaluate and it isn't easy (especially with everyone already breathing down
your neck waiting for you to mess up and see how you respond). You may
work your whole life towards what you think you are and sometimes you aren't
that.
You
have two options: you can give in to the defeat or decide to reshape your
identity.
When
a part of my core identity (that I did not want exposed) got exposed I had to
redefine who I was. While it was awful in the moment, having a new path that
was worthy of putting my effort into made everything click back into place. My
sense of direction was back on track.
It
does not end once you reevaluate your identity for the first, fourth, or four
hundredth time. Our identities are not finite. We are
constantly learning and changing. Although this can be terrifying it is
actually pretty reassuring. I do not want life to pass me by because I have
accepted what the world has thrown at me. I want to be challenged because I
want to grow. Our identities are constantly evolving because we push ourselves
to be better. While change may make us uncomfortable, getting complacent
is worse.
There
does not necessarily need to be one defining moment that gives us the wake up
call to change the direction of our lives, but sometimes those moments are what
we need.
Have
the desire and motivation to work for the identity you want to achieve. Just because you may have to reshape your identity does not mean you are a failure, it means you are growing.
Until next time,
Taylor xx
Beautifully written Taylor!!! Love you!
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